This is unheard of. I have worked in multiple markets and never have I seen a company demanding their employees to pay for their own visa and IHS fees when the visa is connected to the company itself. The bond is there but it is implicit. You can’t change job to another employer on this visa unless they agree to redo this whole thing.
if the COS says 3 years, can i still apply and pay for 1 year and then figure it out while i am in the UK or must be 3 years? And also for the family dependents. its too much money for all 4 people.
I know you are looking for an answer to this question, and I don’t have one for you, because, as I said, this situation is definitely unheard of. You might need to check with an immigration lawyer and since this is General Tier 2, almost any immigration lawyer should be able to help you.
I think I take back what I advised you at My TechNation Application - September 2020 - #30 by Shreeniwas_Iyer - it looks like you might be better off TechNation, as with your current approach, you would end up paying for 2 visa, one for your startup and another for your own TechNation visa. Please proceed with that trade-off in mind.